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Success Coach Hayden Humphrey on Self-Love & Seeking Authenticity

To kick off the new decade (hello, 2020!) and the launch of Vital Proteins new Collagen Bars™, we’re revealing a new series called “How I'm Raising the Bar.” Here, we feature inspiring individuals who are striving to hit new goals, maintain old ones, and become their best selves in the new year.

Today, we start our series by highlighting Success Coach and Creative Entrepreneur, Hayden Humphrey. His story on leaving a successful but unfulfilling corporate career to pursue life on his own terms will leave you inspired. Take a look below to read about his empowering journey.

Lively: Hayden, you have a cool career path. What made you want to change things up in a corporate role and pursue coaching and entrepreneurship?

Hayden Humphrey: I had an experience about three years ago where I missed my sales quota at work. At the time, it seemed like the end of the world – “How could I not achieve the one thing I was hired to do?”

In the stress and anxiety of it, I started to question why it was even a big deal in the first place, and why I placed so much emphasis on this number (and by extension my results at work). And what I realized is that for the longest time, I’d derived my sense of self-worth from external factors and my resume, instead of my innate goodness as a human being. I did everything to be impressive, instead of pursuing the thing I wanted to do.

When I realized what was happening, I decided to go after my dream – working for myself, creating the schedule I wanted, and making an impact on people I cared about.

And now that’s exactly what I get to do: I work as a Success Coach, helping people create careers where they can get paid to be themselves, have more fun and work less.

L: We love this. What about this change in your path makes you the most proud?

HH: In my current career, the thing that makes me most proud is the work I’ve done around being vulnerable with my clients. Sometimes it’s easy to fall into the trap of “I’m the Coach, so I should always have it together and know what I’m doing,” which doesn’t leave a ton of space for my humanity.

I’m proud of the steps I’ve taken to show up more authentically in these relationships. It allows me to more fully connect with my clients, and as a result, impact them in a way that has them get the things they really want.

L: Now that we know more about you, tell us about your resolution for 2020.

HH: My resolution in 2020 is to completely own my worth. For a long time, I have felt that asking for what I want or dreaming big was selfish – almost like if I took more, then that meant that other people would have less.

I’m realizing more and more how untrue that is, and just how much I limit myself by believing myself not to be worthy, and I want to shift that into something more loving and empowering.

L: We're feeling inspired already! What products, tools or people will help you stick to this over the next year?  

HH: I am so incredibly lucky to be surrounded by some of the best Coaches in the world. I get to interact with them on a daily basis and they support me in moving past my barriers and getting what I want. They don’t stand for the “I’m not worth it story” and call me forward every time it comes up in conversation.

I also work with my awesome coach, Bob Conlin, on a more in-depth level to look at my commitments and goals. He’ll be instrumental in helping me achieve this resolution.

L: How do you shake feelings of doubt or uncertainty you might face while pursuing your resolution? 

HH: Really I think the best answer to this question is self-love. Doubt and uncertainty stem from the idea that you aren’t enough to create the things that you want, or that you won’t know how to move forward if you get stopped.

I’ve done a ton of working this year shifting up how I talk to myself and how I relate to myself emotionally. I used to spend a lot of time in my head trying to “fix” my doubt and uncertainty, which really only kept them in place and made them stronger. Now I just recognize when they’re occurring, and focus on getting present in the moment. The thoughts then usually tend to dissipate.

L: On that note, what would you say is the biggest obstacles others face when going after their resolutions? And what advice would you give to them?

HH: I would say the biggest is fear. I’m allowed to want this? Is this realistic? How would I even do that?

Recognize that you don’t actually have to choose from fear. In every single decision and in every single moment, you can choose to empower yourself to look through a lens other than fear. So much of what we’re afraid to have happen doesn’t actually happen, and yet we forget that time and time again.

L: Lastly, what does 'Raising the Bar in 2020' look like to you? 

HH: Ferociously loving myself, continuing to invest in my own development, excellence, and dreams, and powerfully asking for the things that I want in life. 

Rapid Fire Questions:

    1. Dream vacation: Australia/New Zealand
    2. Favorite way to unwind: Massage, improv, League of Legends.
    3. Favorite Vital Proteins product: I’d say the Matcha Collagen. I drink a TON of coffee and get tired of it, so it’s awesome to have a go-to caffeine replacement that tastes great.
    4. Favorite podcast: Where Should We Begin? With Esther Perel
    5. Favorite quote or mantra you live by: “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” - Rumi

Thanks, Hayden!